Welcome Home Kira!

With Aunt Tracy



With Aunt Tracy and Uncle John



With Uncle David



With Grammy






I'm going to be a soccer player just like Daddy!






Playing with Cousin Ethan



Getting a kiss from Cousin Connor



With Aunt Maureen


Well, I have been a mother for a week and a half. It is both more difficult than I could have imagined and more rewarding! It is really hard to barely have time and energy to take care of my own very basic needs. But, we really are doing great and adjusting well, and I have never had a feeling like the feeling I have when my daughter smiles at me. Kira gets more comfortable and relaxed every day and is really a good baby. She is a totally different baby than a week ago. I think we are pretty much back on Ohio time now. She is sleeping pretty well. She has just woken up for about an hour and a half the last 2 nights.

It is so fun to learn more about my daughter every day. She gets braver and explores her new home more each day. She crawls all over. She loves to stand holding onto someone or something, but she can't quite pull herself to a standing position yet. She does this adorable thing with her hand when she is interested in something. She reaches out to whatever or whoever she is interested in and opens and closes her hand very slowly as if to say "Come here, I want to touch you!" She pulls at her hair and sucks her thumb while holding onto her blanket when she is tired, stressed, or feeling insecure. She does well in her carseat, which I was worried about, but so far someone has been in the backseat with her entertaining her while she is in it, so I don't know how she'll do when she doesn't have that. She somewhat prefers Daddy still, but we are both acceptable to her and can comfort her and put her to sleep.

We have had two doctor's appointments already, one with her pediatritian and one with her cleft team. The pediatritian said that she looks remarkably healthy, except for some pretty bad looking infected ears, which is common in cleft-affected kids, so she is on an antibiotic. Her cleft team was very impressed with her lip and nose surgery done in Taiwan and with all the medical records we have for her. We are waiting for the scheduler for the surgeon who will do her palate surgery to call us with a surgery date. They will throw ear tubes in also while she is in for her palate surgery. They seem to want to do it as soon as possible. The earlier it is done, the better it is for speech development. I am so nervous about it, I was actually in tears last night. I can't stand the thought of seeing her in so much pain. I feel like we are just going to get her settled, happy, and feeling comfortable and safe and then she'll have to go through this, and it is just so frustrating. I know it must be done. I am on a yahoo group for people adopting cleft affected children, and there has been a lot of discussion about surgery timing and attachment. Many parents have actually found that the amount of comfort and care that parents provide after surgery has actually helped attachment, so that is comforting.

More when I have a chance!

Going Home Today

Chiang Kai-shek Memorial



Ai-Mi can go home! She has her visa!



Taipei 101



The View From Taipei 101



With Mommy on the Observation Level of Taipei 101



Falling Asleep on Daddy



With Penny and our caseworker Cecilia



It is Friday morning here in Taiwan and we leave this afternoon. We're just hanging out in our hotel room this morning until check-out, so I have time to post.

We have had a busy last couple of days, but Ai-Mi is really adjusting well. I think she's a little trooper after all! She is sleeping at night pretty well. She wakes up a couple of times scared, but each time it is getting easier to comfort her. Naps are still pretty fitful, and she is still a little scared. She preferable likes to take them in Daddy's arms, and of course he is obliging! She has really taken to Daddy. She likes him to speak in Cantonese to her. In fact, if he speaks in English, she pushes his head away. It is quite adorable! Daddy got some smiles for the first time out of her on Wednesday, and now we can both get her smiling. She started accepting a bottle when she is alert on Wednesday, also, so we no longer have to sneak them in when she is sleepy. She is crawling up a storm and even wants to pull up on things, but she can't. Yesterday afternoon, for the first time, she really seemed genuinely relaxed and playful with us, and I really felt like I could start to see her little sparkly personality.

On Wednesday, we had no appointments except to pick up Ai-Mi's visa at AIT, so we got some sightseeing in. We went to the Chiang Kai-shek Memorial and back to Taipei 101. We went to the Observatory when we went to Taipei 101, and didn't have a great experience. It was cool to see the view, but Dan and I both felt motion sick from the elevator ride, and the elevator ride scared Ai-Mi. We had planned to eat dinner there at an Italian restaurant after going to the Observatory, but we were all ready to go back to the hotel after that.

Yesterday was a very busy day. In the morning, we had an appointment with Ai-Mi's doctor who performed her surgery. He gave us all of her records and gave us his email to give to her doctors in the U.S. so that they could contact him with any questions. We also asked specifically about the treatment of using the nose tubes, and he made it sound pretty different than Ai-Mi's foster mother and the staff at Cathwel had. They had made it sound like she needed them to breathe. Well, the doctor explained that, in Taiwan, they do the rhinoplasty (nose repair) at a younger age than in the U.S., so it requires the tubes to keep the shape of the nose. It is controversial and not done in the U.S. They usually stay in for about 6 months. It has been 5 months since Ai-Mi's surgery, so he said that it is fine now to leave them out. So, I feel much, much better about that. I am also a little upset that they have been doing that to my baby for 5 months. I can certainly see why it is controversial and not done in the U.S. I think it has truly kind of traumatized Ai-Mi. She absolutely hates for anyone to come anywhere near her nose, and no wonder!

Yesterday afternoon, we met Ai-Mi's birthparents, both her birthmother and her birthfather, which I wasn't expecting. We got to Cathwel for the meeting and couldn't find anyone. So, we were just kind of standing in the lobby when they arrived, which was a little awkward. Penny came right then, however, and we had a nice meeting. We all talked for about an hour. They had both written a letter to Ai-Mi. Ai-Mi's birthmother gave her a little necklace for a lucky life, and we gave her our gift and also let her keep the photo album we had made for our "dossier," which I think she really appreciated. Also, they have been visiting her monthly at Cathwel when she has gone in for updates, and we got lots of pictures from those meetings. We took pictures of our meeting with them, but I'm not going to post them, or the pictures with her foster family, for privacy reasons. It was quite an experience. I didn't know whether the parting with her foster family or the parting with her birthmother would be more emotional if we got to meet both, but the parting with the birthmother was definitely more emotional. I want to write a detailed account of the meeting while the details are still fresh, so that Ai-Mi can know all about it. I think I'll work on that on the plane this afternoon.

Well, we have to be out of the hotel by 1:00, but we don't need to be at the airport until 5:00, so we are going to have Nick Lee, the driver we have used, take us on a tour and then to the airport. To all of those waiting to travel to Taipei, I hightly recommend Nick Lee. He is great! He has bought us food that he wanted us to try, helped us haggle for some jade jewelry that we wanted to buy, and is just very fun to talk to.

Well, I will post again in a few days to report how adjustment at home is going!

Day Two With Ai-Mi

Playing With Mommy



Daddy is Worn Out



The Hunger Strike Ends!



Sweet Girl



First Time Dining Out



Playing


Well, things are going a little better today. Right now we just got Kira to sleep, hopefully for the night.

Last night I couldn't get a hold of our pediatritian, but I did get a hold of our international adoption specialist to ask her about the nose tubes and scar cover thing. Kira had been crying so much that the nose tubes had worked themselves out, and I just didn't think we could all go through getting them back in. I really wanted to talk to someone and hear that they absolutely must stay in before doing that. I described the situation to the doctor, and she recommended leaving them out. She said that it was a very irregular thing to do to keep something like that in a child's nose so long, that she imagined it would cause all kinds of pain and sinus problems. She said that a baby can breathe through their mouth, so even if her nasal passages weren't very open, she would breathe. She said the only problem could be that, if she couldn't breathe through her nose well enough to breathe while taking a bottle, they might have to go back in. At that point we hadn't gotten her to take a bottle. The doctor also said that the plastic piece taped over her lip scar seemed ridiculously unnecessary. Her surgery was five months ago, and she has long since healed up. She thinks they have just been over cautious and just do things differently. So, the tubes have stayed out and no scar cover has been put on! Yeah! We can look in her nose and see her nasal passages. They are pretty small. But, she is breathing through them. She didn't even have her mouth open while sleeping last night. She has been breathing through her nose just fine. Meanwhile, I got a hold of our pediatritian today and he is going to contact the cleft clinic that we will be using and get an appointment expedited. The one we already have is not for another month.

Yes, the hunger strike has ended! Kira fell asleep at about 10:30 last night without having had a bottle. She woke up screaming at 1:30. So, I made a bottle and Daddy was able to give it to her. In fact, she chugged it ravenously! She then fell right back asleep and slept until 7:00. Praise the Lord, we all needed the rest! The trick is to give her a bottle when she is asleep. If we do that she will start to drink without being alert enough to fight it. She will wake up just enough to eat. I have been able to get her to take 3 more bottles that way today. She still screams if you offer her a bottle when she is alert, and she isn't eating as much as she should be, but she isn't starving or dehydrating.

AIT went fine today and Kira did fine there. We came back to our room and all took a nap after that. Again, Kira woke up very scared, but was a little easier to calm. We got her calmed down, played awhile, then went out this afternoon to TGI Fridays, then went to the Handicraft Market. I really liked the Handicraft Market, and we bought virtually all of our souvenirs for people there. Ai-Mi did great going out. Since we got back, she has been tearful off and on, but a little better than yesterday. She is now asleep and hasn't woken up for almost an hour.

Thanks everyone for all of the support! I'll continue to keep you updated.

Our Little Fighter

All packed and Ready to Go!

Arriving in Taiwan

The View From the Roof Of Our Hotel

Meeting Mommy

Who Are These People?

Playing With Daddy

Favorite New Toy

What a day this has been: wonderful and incredibly difficult! When we arrived at Cathwel we were met by Penny, the adoptions fascilitator at Cathwel. She took us to a little room and talked to us a little. She said that Ai-Mi's foster family would be arriving with her soon. While we waited she gave us a brief tour and we met our caseworker and the head nurse at Cathwel, both of whom then joined us in our room when Ai-Mi's foster family finally arrived with her.

I didn't know that we were going to be able to meet the foster family and it was wonderful to meet them. The foster mother, father, and their 3 year old daughter arrived with Ai-Mi. We spent a few minutes playing with her while she was held by her foster mother and then she let me hold her. We all sat and talked and the foster mother talked about her schedule and habits. She is also a nurse and explained that Ai-Mi has to wear the tubes in her nose that we've continued to see in pictures. Our pediatrician had told us that he didn't know why they would be in so long term, that that wasn't standard procedure. But they explained that her nose sort of "collapses" and it is difficult for her to breathe without them. She showed us how to change them, and that was the first trauma of our daughter's day. It was absolutely brutal, and our poor baby screamed bloody murder. They immediately handed her to me afterward to comfort her and, after a few minutes, she was okay again. I can't imagine having to do this every day, but we will have to do it ourselves tomorrow. They also gave us a plastic thing to tape over her scars from her lip surgery for 8 hours at night. Her lip surgery was 5 months ago. I am actually going to call our pediatritian tonight (which will be day in the States) because this all just doesn't seem quite right to us.

Anyway, the changing of the nose tubes were the only tears at Cathwel. We thought, how wonderful, she's going to be a little trooper. Boy were we wrong! Bless her fighting little spirit, she has had one rough day. It started out fine. She fell asleep in my arms during the ride back to our hotel. We got back to the hotel and played happily a little bit, then she fell asleep again. She woke up from her nap terrified. We can get her calmed down, but we always must be holding her and whoever isn't holding her must be within her view. We have not been able to get her to take a bottle yet. We know that she is hungry, but she screams any time she sees the bottle. It isn't a bottle she's not not used to: they gave us two bottles and nipples that she's used to and that's what we've tried. She reaches for it, but cries and then pushes it away, wanting her foster mother to give it to her we assume. Dan did manage to get her, while very sleepy, to play with the nipple in her mouth and drink maybe 1/2 an ounce. So we've got a very pissed off baby on a hunger stike! We actually called Penny about an hour ago about her not eating. She called her foster mother to see if there was a "trick" to getting her to eat. She called us back and said that the foster mother says that she normally loves her bottle, so it's probably just that she's upset by all that's going on. When she's hungry enough, she'll eat. On top of that she's teething and I think she's in pain from that.

I'm already exhausted and have been in tears myself today. I've left her crying with Dan to take a break right now to post this. My heart is just breaking for her. She is just so scared and sad and vulnerable and, so far, we aren't the ones who can make it better for her. But, I know things will get better. Right now I'm most concerned that she eats. It's been almost 12 hours now with virtually no food in her.

Well, we have AIT tomorrow. I'll post more tomorrow night, hopefully with news of a less traumatic day for our little one!

First Day in Taipei

Greetings from Taipei, Taiwain! We are here!

It was a long trip, but a smooth one without any complications. Airport security was a breeze. It actually didn't seem any more rigorous than usual. We left Cincinatti at 8:30 AM Friday morning, Ohio time, got to LAX at 10:00 AM LA time. We left LA at about 6:00 PM LA time and arrived in Taipei at about 10:00 PM Saturday, Taipei time. The flight was as comfortable as a 13 hr. flight can be, and I think I slept for about 7 hours. We weren't very tired when we got to the hotel around midnight because we hadn't been awake too many hours after our night of sleep on the plane. I think we were probably in bed by 2:00 A.M. and slept until about 7:00.

We've had a nice day today. First of all, the Caesar Park Hotel is very nice. Our room is very, very spacious - the largest hotel room I've ever stayed in. There are several restaraunts in the hotel. We ate a buffet breakfast this morning at one of them. Then we went just kind of walked around the area near our hotel and checked out our part of the city. We went to the K Mall, which is right near our hotel. It is different than malls in the U.S. It is very electronics oriented and there are many stores, but the stores are very small. After that, we ate lunch at Pizza Hut, then did some shopping we needed to do at a department store and the 7-Eleven. We were tired after that, so we came back and took about an hour nap. We decided to go to Taipei 101 this evening. (For those who don't know, Taipei 101 is the tallest building in the world.) We didn't go up to the observation deck because it had started POURING down rain. So, we did some more looking in stores and ate dinner at the food court, which was HUGE. Taipei 101 is basically like a big, ritzy mall. It has all of the posh American and European stores. We want to go back when the weather makes it possible to get a good view from the observation deck.

From our first day in Taipei, here are some observations:

- Taiwan is HOT and MUGGY!!!!

- You don't find many women wearing shorts. Most wear skirts or crop pants with a short sleeved top or tank top and sandals or tennis shoes.

- If you've ever been to New Orleans, the smell of Taipei reminds me of The French Quarter, and I'm not talking about the nice smell of gumbo!

- Almost everyone we've come into contact with speaks excellent English. However, most are embarassed by their English skills and are apologetic. Imagine, we go to THEIR country and they are apologetic about not speaking OUR language well enough! It sure is quite a contrast from mean-spirited Americans who are unwelcoming to anyone who can't speak their language in their country and also expect everyone to speak their language in the rest of the world.

- Food service workers wear masks when working with the food. You will also ocassionally see people walking down the streets wearing masks, which I guess is customary if you are sick in Taiwan.

- The Taiwanese are prepared for heavy rains. They have systems to deal with wet umbbrellas before entering building, either a thing to put them in for a minute to dry them or a plastic cover to put over them. It is the rainy season right now, as we found out today.

- Lots of people drive scooters and there is parking for them everywhere.

- There are lots of Japanese tourists here, and a lot of the consumerism here seems to be geared toward them.

- You don't have to go far to find a Starbucks, 7 Eleven, Pizza Hut, TGI Fridays or KFC here.

- During our cab ride to Taipei 101 we passed a really ritzy looking shopping area that reminded us of Chicago's magnificent mile.


Well, stay tuned to hear about our 2nd day, which is when the excitement really begins. We will be united with Ai-Mi at 10:00 AM tomorrow morning!